Imagine you and your bike had that kind of perverted relationship. You know, that relationship celebrated in that poorly written book about sexual abuse? Here are some excerpts from 50 Spokes of Grey:
- "Oh. My. God. That was a REAL quickie!" (My bike after my first sub 3 Argus).
- "You want to ride me..? Now...? Get the lube - quick!" (After being rinsed off at waterpoint 3 on the Attakwas.
- "You are seriously going to have to get me harder than that if you want to go around the block!" (My road bike wanting some air in the tyres before a ride.)
- "You make me feel...safe. I'm secure when I'm around you - like nothing can hurt me. Go on - slip the chain around my neck..." Putting a bike lock on has never been so seductive.
- "Holy shit! You are NOT putting that thing into me! Its too long, hard...and BLACK!". Looks like the new seat-post was NOT well received.
- "Go steady...yes...keep it there..keep it there..aha...ok, faster..FASTER NOW NOW!!" (My bike nearing the top of Suikerbossie with the VA group.
- "Yes! Take me. Take me NOW!" (My old bike when it was stolen from my garage in 2012. Bitch...)
- My bike once whispered to me: "I want you to abuse me. I mean, really fu(k me up!" So I entered the Cape Epic.
