This needs to be written before I forget the details. I learnt from last years Epic that, over time, the days and endless hours of riding tend to blur and blend into one another. The hours of riding the Epic are put through the minds' blender of time; exaggeration; and regression... until all you are left with are a few highlights and lowlights of the event. I don't want that to happen this time, so I'm going to be selfish and diarise the 2014 Epic as I remember it.
SMOOTH KNOBBLIES ENTER EN MASSE
The first standout for 2014 was the number of close friends who also entered the event. From our small cycling group we had managed to put together no less than 6 teams of direct members and close friends:
Fat Bob: Epic John and Riaan "CrackMan" Meintjes: With no less than 15 Epics between them and hitting some fine form, this was our strongest team in the field.
Assos Cyclelab: Shaun Payne and Gregor Krall: Both strong riders, Assos CLB promised to be a competent team. However, Gregor was thrown into the Epic a mere 10 days before the time as Shaun's planned partner had fallen in the Argus and broken both thumbs. It was a last ditch effort to keep the team entry alive...
Zone 2: The ENS team of Pierre "Moose" Blignaut and Gavin Copeland. Gavin has a demanding overseas travel itinerary for work purposes and did not have the luxury of time for detailed Epic training. Moose followed a strict planning programme and a possible imbalance was on the cards.
Team Pangolin: Chanan Weis and Anton Davies made up a team that we knew relatively little about.
Team RTT: The all girl group of Mandy "Princess" Simpson and Lizelle Thompson: We all know that Mandy has the endurance engine of a generator - although Lizelle was a relative unknown to the group.
Nguni Bulls: That would be Rocky Koen and I. We had ridden the 2013 Epic together and were looking forward to another relaxed Epic (but with a secret hope of improving of our 167th placing from last year).
PROLOGUE
The Prologue was fairly uneventful from a racing perspective. The 27km Meerendal route is fun; laden with cheering spectators; and sets the tone for the remainder of the week. All of our teams were within a few minutes of each other and comfortably through to Stage 1.
Stage 1: Robertson
Its Epic tradition that Stage 1 is a beast. This is to quickly cull the weaker teams or shock those lesser prepared teams into a state disbelief as to what they had bitten off. And this Stage 1 did not disappoint. At 108km with over 2500m climbing, it had a 5 star difficulty rating.
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The Epic allows riders to access some stunning cycling sections in the Western Cape that would be otherwise inaccessible
Photo coutesy Cape Epic.com |
And this is where the shit started for us. For some reason, Rocky's front tyre attracted punctures like flies to rubbish. We experienced no less than 5 punctures on his front wheel - one of them when we were off the bike, pushing it uphill! Every time you get a puncture you need to pull over and plug the offending hole. This way you lose not only the group you were riding with but also your rhythm. Five stops adds up and the Nguni Bulls loped home in a dismal 222nd position. Fat Bob led our pack with a credible 129th position.
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The scenery on the Epic creates many picture-perfect settings.
Photo courtesy Cape-Epic.com |
Stage 2: Robertson Mud Fest
The 2014 Cape Epic will be remembered for this stage. Heavy downpours from the night before had converted what was meant to be a fast 105km stage into a mudfest! The mood for the day was set when we immediately sploshed into a puddled and slippery road leading out of the start zone. Glasses for eye protection were hardly an option due to the amount of mud being flung into our faces. Glasses would simply catch the mud and clog your view. So every few hundred metres you were guaranteed to get an eyeful (and mouthful) of mud - this for over 105km. That evening the mediclinic tent was packed with riders whose eyes were all bloodshot and blurry from the hours of mud riding....
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| 105km of this: non-stop slush |
But the mud was to be the least of our worries as the worst day for Nguni Bulls loomed.... at 35km into the race we were cruising along quite nicely when Rocky's peddling suddenly had no effect. He would spin his legs and there would be no traction on the wheel....the free hub had busted. Within a matter of seconds we went from speeding along to being dead in the water. In the middle of nowhere. And so the teams started to overtake us....
A quick decision was made that I would race ahead to the next waterpoint and gather some spares in an effort to repair the damaged wheel. Rocky would walk his bike towards the waterpoint in the interim. So off I go to McGregor - a 6km dash away.
At the water point entrance I was reluctant to cross over the line as I was familiar with the time separation rules (2 minutes apart and you get a time penalty). So Amanda (Rocky's wife) found an official of sorts and cleared the way for me to go and get a wheel from the tech zone. Which I duly did. I then sped out of the zone, found Rocky fairly close by, and we re-entered the tech zone for them to do the final repairs. By this time we had lost well over an hour in mechanical slow-down.
We eventually limped home having had a second bad day on the bike from a technical point of view - only to get fined an hour penalty for the time separation! This pushed us into an all time low position of 500th! We could've lodged an appeal at a cost - but without the right names of who spoke to whom, we were told we were on a highway to nowhere and it would be "highly unlikely" that the time penalty would be overturned. (Besides, a few uncomfortable questions followed about where the wheel was from; did we pay for it etc... which I am not willing to disclose in this public forum!! We got a wheel from an official tech zone and lets just leave it at that.) We sucked the penalty up and we plummeted down the rankings....
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| The Nguni Bulls at water point 1 (before the bike breakages!) |
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The winning ladies pair explode through a puddle on Stage 2
Photo courtesy Cape Epic.com |
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These conditions kept most mechanics at work until about 4am the next morning. The mud wreaks havoc on the bike parts.
Photo courtesy Cape Epic.com |
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| Best OMO advert conditions ever..... |
Stage 3: Robertson to Greyton
Nothing better than licking your wounds by tackling the longest stage of the Epic - a 134km slog into a headwind to Greyton. This was the first day that we were actually able to ride without issues. The only problem was that our previous days' performance pushed us far back into E group - a late start with a slow bunch. If you're going to ride into a headwind on district road for 134km, you don't want to be in a slow group! You need riders of your own capability around you so that you can get into fast bunches and help each other drafting and pulling. This was not be - until we hooked up with Joel Stransky and Stefan Terblanche. They too had bad mechanical issues the day before and found themselves with us in E group. A partnership was soon formed and, along with a pair of quiet Spaniards, the six of us ploughed ahead and made some good time for the day. Theoretically we came in 360 places higher than the day before at 140th (versus 500th spot the day before). And so the fightback began....
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Team Fat Bob mess up a perfectly good nature shot of a wet spider web.
Photo courtesy Bicycling.co.za |
Stage 4: Greyton
This 88km stage was not designed to suit the Nguni Bulls. Constant up and down technical riding didn't suit us heavier riders...but the scenery was superb; the weather cool; and Rocky and I obviously felt that we had a score to settle. On top of that we had lost the first rider from Smooth Knobblies group the day before. Mandy had been hit by a bug and was pulled at the 81km mark with dehydration. The whole group was heartsore at this news.
They say motivation comes in various forms - but whatever spurred us on that day - be it the fact that our bikes behaved; that the surroundings were idyllic for mountain biking; or that we felt for Mandy; we put our heads down and led an Nguni Bull stampede into 129th place. We had also pipped Fat Bob by a dozen places or so and we were well pleased with our efforts....
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A characteristically steep zigzag climb...and it went ALL the way up the hills you see in the pic.
photo courtesy Cape Epic.com |
Stage 5: Greyton to Grabouw
...and then tragedy struck again. At 3am Rocky awoke to that urgent and painful cramp that signals the arrival of a violent tummy bug. The portaloo midnight run is never great fun - especially when you need to wrestle your way out of a sleeping bag; unzip a tiny tent; avoid cold feet on the wet grass; and then find a dark and plastic portaloo to relieve yourself on!
By the time we rolled up to the start line Rocky was pale; empty (literally); weak; and certainly not in any real condition to tackle the Queen Stage of the 2014 Cape Epic: 115km of 2977m ascent. Of all days to fall down, this was possibly the worst one. Rocky informed me that all he could offer for the day was his granny gear. Without any power to climb, it would mean we would resort to me pushing him; him holding onto my jersey for a tow; or simply getting off the bike with me pushing both bikes up what would normally be rideable hills for us. Well - its a team sport and thats what we did.
My 2014 Epic will be defined by the mother of all climbs - Rusty FU(K&%$ Gate!! A God knows how long and God knows how high monster of a hill that just seemed to go on forever! (I went back and checked the stats - its about a 7km climb.) Rocky was too weak to ride up, so off he got and I took his bike and frog-marched them both up the hill. In this time spent in the hurt locker, I realised that the steeper the incline; the closer your face is to the road surface. And by holding onto two bikes, you are able to lean close down to the surface (trust me - I had a long time to play this theory and its manifestations through my mind...) And because Rusty BLOODY Gate is so steep, I feel I have a close connection with each pebble; each stone that I studied (closely) as I trudged up this BLOODY hill. I lost a stud on my MTB shoe. And probably 3 litres of sweat.
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| This shot summarises the day.....Rusty BLOODY Gate.... |
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The Epic race directors must be complemented for adding back a lot of adventure into the race.
Photo courtesy Cape Epic.com |
I actually don't want to speak of this day anymore. We made it. After nearly 8 hours in 39 degree heat, Rocky reported to sick bay to be told that he had a virus and they would only make a call if he could ride the next stage in the morning. I was surprised we came in 261st. I felt we crossed the line third last....
Stage 6: Greyton
Recovery ride. Rocky was allowed to ride and we literally took it easy so that his system could just get over the trauma that it had been through the previous day. This 88km stage was just great riding really. Swooping singletracks countered by about 1900m climbing. We just wanted to tick the box and get to the final stage....
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Zone 2 takes the lead as Moose sets the pace on the group. Perhaps a little lovers quarrel put that grim look of determination on their faces???? (But thats another story)
Photo courtesy Cape Epic.com |
We were not the only Smooth Knobblies' team to fall foul during the week. Shaun and Gregor (Assos Cyclelab) had bike mechanicals of their own to deal with. Firstly Shaun cracked the frame of his Bianchi....which led to other remedies being required to keep it going...which led to other issues resulting in the crank popping off during Stage 6. Gregor had also been fighting a case of "showerhead bum" and was not in the best physical state to help Shaun nurse his bike to the finish over 30km (theres also that 18kg weight difference between the two riders that makes pushing Shaun even harder work!). Shaun didn't have it very easy either - try going down singletrack without the support of your pedals! Your bum takes a severe beating... Shaun put the ASS into Assos that day!!
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| Assos Cyclelab have their bad day: note the lack of crank on Shaun's bike. He had to run; freewheel; and be [pushed by Gregor for nearly 30km. Its a typical example of some of the hardships you need to endure. |
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| The CrackMan looked at this pic and merely commented something about sorry-looking faces; side-saddle seating positions; crank-carrying antics; broken number boards...all from a tough rugby boy. Oh well, sympathy don't come easy I guess! |
Stage 7: Greyton to Lourensford
69km to be tackled with a fit-again Rocky. And then we would be done!!
Although the day started cold and rainy, we hit an extra gear and found our rhythm for only the third time this Epic. Without any setbacks we rode into Lourensford just outside the top 100 (107th) and 21st in the Masters category. We were greeted by the many admirers of this race but Rocky and I were very relieved that we had made it over the line in one piece. That was always the objective and we have no regrets. I believe that we have grown as endurance riders through this Epic. Never before had we been plagued with so many issues. Our last Epic was a constant flow of consistent days and we ended well on the rankings. This year proved the volatility and ruthlessness of the event: one major setback and you are really buggered!
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We all felt like this when we crossed the finish line!!
Photo courtesy Bicycling.co.za |
STATISTICALLY SPEAKING
By looking at the daily finishing results of the Smooth Knobblies, you can clearly see that if you manage to dodge those many race-ending bullets, you can do very well simply by staying on your bike and keeping up a steady pace:
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| This amazing graph compiled by me. |
Look at the consistency of Fat Bob; Zone 2; and Pangolin. All three of those teams show an upward trend in their race position as the race progressed. In a nutshell, Fat Bob were awesome!
Epic John is now one of only six riders to have completed all 11 Absa Cape Epics - a truly remarkable feat.
Unfortunately Assos Cyclelab and the Nguni Bulls suffered mercurial performances as the big breakages (both bike and body) wreak havoc on any given stage.
Well done to
- Gavin Copeland
- Gregor Krall
- Shaun Payne
- Pierre Blignaut
- Chanan Weis
- Matthew Blake
for all completing their first Absa Cape Epic. It certainly was one to remember!
- I have now completed 2;
- Rocky 4;
- CrackMan 6; and
- Epic John 11
I think it is fair to say that our small little cycling group is becoming relatively accomplished in the cycling world!
Now the challenge is set for Twakkie; Dr Phall; Carlos Ze Squirrel; Ant Douglas Jones; Billy Bob; John Zylstra; and Dots. If you want it - you will get it it.
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| A tired but happy crew savour the moment of completing the Cape Epic 2014 (Absent: Team Fat Bob; Team Pangolin...) |
HIGHLIGHTS SUMMARY
The unpredictability of the leaders race: for the first time in years we had no idea who would win the race.
Women Power: The equality of the Women's event was prevalent: equal prize money; women hot spots; and the sheer power of many women riders was impressive!
Crickets: In every town we were plagued by millions of crickets! They were in your shoes; your helmets...even in you sleeping bag!
Mud: 2014 will always be remembered for mud and we predict millions of good marketing photos to come from that day.
Big Name Drop Outs: Losing Karl Platt; Cherise Stander; and Rudi Van Houts to various ailments was another stand-out.
Great Riding: This was a very very good course. It had a bit of everything - but more mountain biking and less district road was a massive welcome.
Different Weather: We had it all. Heat; rain; cloudy; sunny....each day was essentially different.
(With Shaun's broken crank, I couldn't resist making the following. Everyone knows that a cyclist loves coffee...)
