If you've been cycling for a few years, chances are good that you've hit Mother Earth with some force a couple of times. Or perhaps smashed into something like a car or tree (what moron would do that?) and only then had terra firma break your fall.
Not only is there the mental trauma to deal with after a crash - but physically the body takes time to recover.
Signs that You've Been In A Recent Cycling Crash:
- Your crash, now posted on YouTube, still has less than 1000 views.
- The cycling group uses your crash site as a point of reference. E.g: "Do you remember where Phil got his pedal wedged into his shin? OK - so just past that...that's where we saw the rare Olive Pigeon."
- You know your medical aid number out of your head because you used it recently.
- The WhatsApp cycling group is still asking how you are. - and either your name or part of your body that was hurt is being used in all the sentences. See below:
- An old cycling mate mails you out of the blue...to test the water if you still intend using that Sani entry. "Hi Moose? Its been too long! You all OK? So Tim mentioned you might not be riding next week....."
- You can't go for your first recovery ride because you haven't replaced your helmet yet...
- ...and when you get back on the bike the handlebars are still skew from the crash.
- You realise how much you take for granted the ability to bend down and put your socks on without stiffness or pain.
- You have self-researched and diagnosed your injury ad nauseum via the internet and various cycling chat forums. "So when I landed I actually dislocated my fibula-stibula on the C3 joint...now blood can't get there so I need to have it rubbed down or I get pins and needles in my crotch..."
- In the cycling groups collective mind, you are only injured until someone else has been injured after you. "Shame, I mean Chris hurt his knee a while back now...but how about Gav riding into that car? That helmet saved his life you know.." (Note how Chris has just been relegated to the Old News Injury pile...)
- You agree that next time you ride you will have, on your spouses insistence, a first aid kit with Savlon; bandages; space blankets; Rennies; plasters; a neck brace; a stretcher; and extra duct tape...
- You speak as though you are an old pro when referring other injured people to a specialist. "I saw Doctor Schticklinberg at Kingsbury - and he really knows shoulders and necks hey. He helped fix Schalk Burgers neck injury you know..."
- You just updated your mobile phone contacts with an "All Emergency" number because when you crashed no-one knew who to call. "Will 10111 work?". "No - thats the police. I think I have Rob's number and he knows the SAN Parks guys...shit - I left my phone in my car". "I'll call Dots. He lives nearby and he can fetch Moose"....
Dedicated to Moose and his speedy recovery.
