Now with all due respect to Brett Murray and Zapiro for cottoning on to their favourite subject, I only felt it was right that I too try and get some additional blog traffic by getting in on the mix. Whilst the controversial The Spear painting saga unrolls in this immature democracy of ours, I think its important that we as cyclists are also consciously aware of what is happening in the cultural and political spheres of the country. The reality is that we cycle to escape that tedious environment - who needs to hear about airhead models who make racist tweets; or about artists that slap a generously sized penis onto a Leninist Zuma? But I think our Prez should be pleased with the generous member he has been granted by Murray. Imagine the outcry if it was a little peanut of a willy? Boy - I think the toyi-toyi brigade placards would read quite differently: "You white boy with little winkie don't no (sic) about proud black snake", "racist smelly artist has tiny mushroom and is so jealus (sic)"..... Perhaps that should've been the red herring (snake?) that he should've gone for to avoid all of this nonsense? Because if there's one thing we know as cyclists, its that size does count.
And this is the crux of this entry....this is how I too am going to cash in on the whole debacle. (I haven't yet spoken to Cracker - but I'm almost confident he will represent me when I get dragged down to the Wynberg Magistrates Court for my version of a Zuma portrait that could be conceived as highly insulting.)
Ready?
Here it is:
Its The Prez on a 26er! Who wouldn't be insulted? OK, so I've shaved a few kilos off the chap (which is a good thing, right) - but that shouldn't stop the ANC from coming after me with threats for the public protector to investigate my racist actions! But lets be clear here - the shower coupling is no stranger to portraits of the Prez. And personally I think this is a very practical device - especially on longer rides in the middle of the day. I would've killed for a shower coupling when I rode that race in Greyton a few months back! I nearly blew a gasket it was so hot. And I guess its a great pick up line in a crowded bar ("Hey babe - you can really turn me on.... I know you'll get wet!!" Too much?). Anyway - beats a Camelbak in my opinion. And look how happy I've made him! That's joy right there. I imagine that's the kind of grin he gets when wife number 4 coyly ushers him to the presidential chambers....I guess its the same rush as us descending into the Umkomaas Valley...and geographically there's probably very little difference between the 2 scenarios either way. Its dark and dangerous down there in both instances.....
No - I intend to get the media attention I deserve by depicting the Prez on a 26er. There's the real insult that will catapult me to fame. I mean really - who rides those nowadays?
And I'm doing this purely because this blog isn't getting the traffic it deserves - no other intent. Anyway - let me sit back and wait for this to go viral....
