The Treemendous Show!

Reality TV is affecting our lives. And this is not always a good thing. Take for example the misfortune of GavinD this morning.  I have it on good authority that "American Loggers" on the Discovery Channel is one of his favourite shows.
Ever since the Oracle denied the loan of his chainsaw to anyone, GavD has been intrigued by the ability to cut down trees with the use of machinery.... I can only assume the long Easter Weekend saturated GavD's sense of judgement with rum and he started pondering on the idea that his bicycle chain could be a possible instrument to fulfil his arbour slaughter fantasy. How else can one explain the events of this morning?


GavD's favourite reality show American Loggers influenced him in this mornings attempt to fell a tree on his bike.


A normal MTB ride ended in a horrific battle between Mother Nature and GavD. The scorecard is heavily tilted in her favour, although the Never Give Up Trophy must go to GavD. Because even when the odds were stacked against him and he went barking up the wrong tree, his idea was at least well rooted.

We were returning down the mountain and heading into Orange St, just outside the Mount Nelson Hotel. Morning traffic often dictates that we take the shortcut through a semi-deserted parking lot. It is here that the tragic scene unfolded - and it was all over in about 3 seconds. GavD tried to imitate his idols on American Loggers and cut a brute of a tree down using momentum, his head, and his bike. It didn't end well for Gavin and I have already mentioned that Mother Nature won the contest.....

CSI Agent The Moose unpacks the gruelling attempted logging efforts. We see where GavD lined his assault angle up (yellow circle), followed by the near-airborne launch path (green); and the position and place of impact (red) on the tree. "I have never seen anything like this before", said The Moose.

The medical team straps GavD in as his mobile stretcher awaits him. TwoTone, an experienced MTB crasher, remained on the scene and offered words of comfort and sweets. (Eds note: we have since learnt that GavD crushed 3 vertebrae and tore some ligaments after this crash. He is wearing a torso brace and will be out of action for 6 weeks...eisch!) 

I approached some of GavD's heroes from the American Loggers show and shared with them what had happened. (After introducing myself, they were very curious to know more about South Africa and said they didn't know white people lived in Mexico.....)

John Smith, a logger for 21 years, thought that the idea was novel and said that he saw something similar on Jackass 7. "Hope there was a YouTube reporter nearby", he concluded.
John Smith drives his American logging equipment. "Never heard of a Specialised chainsaw myself" he said.

Delmont Jackson, a logger for 7 years, was glad to hear that a helmet had saved his life. "Don't go nowhere without my hardhat. You never know when its gonna save your ass. Go to the Pub? I got it on. Go to the Crapper? I got it ON!!"


Randy Burberry, a logging manager for 4 years, plays a joke on Hank Adams after hearing about GavD's story.


The helmet definitely did save GavD! Gavin - we hope you recover soon and quickly! Hopefully this will give you a chuckle to help mend your battered head and back.