The DeadThree Club

Dedicated to The Moose....


I would almost predict that if you're reading this blog, you’ve done a Pick n Pay Argus Cycle tour at some stage. And the Argus is all relative, for the elite rider all the way down to the ZZ plonker who leaves Cape Town at 11am, it’s a great day. But then there’s a small bunch of riders near the top of the field who have one aim – to ride the acclaimed Sub 3. Indeed, many amateurs riding careers are defined by this single achievement. But what of those who miss this elusive barrier? And only just? That group that sprints over in Green Point realising that they have fallen seconds short of this goal?
Sub 3 is clearly 02:59:59 or less. 1 second more, and it’s no longer Sub 3. The invisible line that you have been chasing around the Cape like a madman determining your sub 3 split times has won. You trundle over the line, spent, knowing it has beaten you.  If you have ridden in any group between A and E, you are an ideal candidate for this fate to befall you. But the real pain sets in when your riding buddies ask how you did….the obvious “what was your time?” expression turns to one of pity as you explain that you're in on 3 hours. Not under 3. Not over 3. But ON 3. ThreeDead. The ThreeDead group is that small group who crossed between 03:00:00 and 03:00:59. The Dark Minute. The Eye of the Needle. Everything past that can be expressed as an hour and minute again (“I rode a three fifteen”….”I'm very chuffed with my four thirty two”…). But the DeadThrees are the only group where seconds are demanded. And as your riding buddy cocks his head and frowns at your misfortune, he will ask “oh no ways! But how many seconds were over 3 hours?”. I know this because I’ve been there. I am there. I am one of the DeadThree riders of 2012. I moved into the DeadThree zone after a 03:01 in 2011. And it makes no difference if you sub 2:30 any other 100km races; or if you break other very achievable milestones – to come so close and fall into the DeadThree zone is not pretty. Crestfallen. 4th place at the Olympics.

So I have decided to embrace this fact. I am not ashamed of the DeadThree anymore. In fact, there are less DeadThree riders in the whole Argus than any other group. We, the chokers, who felt that this ride would be the one. So for those of you who are new DeadThree riders, or have a PB set in the DeadThree Zone, let me explain the impact of the DeadThree Phenomenon and how to manage it best:
1.       Make peace – and quickly. Accept that you fell short. Blame no-one or nothing. The scoreboard doesn’t lie.
2.       You are not alone in this.
3.       Use the energy constructively. When you start training for your next Argus (or any other race), the DeadThree Ghost will come to haunt you. You may find yourself turning a pedal in anger at the thought of those ghastly seconds denying you that Sub 3 status. Refer to rule 1 – make peace. Just man up and ride stronger. You will ride stronger in every other race you enter because you will want to put that ghost to rest.
4.       Enter something a lot tougher than an Argus. We all know that the Argus is not a difficult course (in the wider range of cycling races). Its certainly not as tough as a multi-day MTB stage race that you're riding hard. Or the Transbaviaans. Or the DC. Prove to yourself that you can ride hard for 6 hours plus non-stop.
5.       When asked what your Argus time was, proudly say DeadThree. Not 03:01. Not 02:59. You are a DeadThree.

Now go and get even.


The three DeadThree Members in the Smooth Knobblies: Epic John (36 sec); Rens (41 sec); and Moose (42 sec)